Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)18:22 No. 130227 ID: 62489a
File 126602776067.png - (64.35KB , 960x540 , Treasure\'s Allure2.png )

My name is Doobanicus Strifecloud, the last of the Silvermoon clan. Travelling with me are my companions, Mr. Crowlto and Stars. We are EQUALIZERS, set out to restore order to the galaxy.

What's the circle on a chain? And can Stars talk

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)18:40 No. 130246 ID: 62489a
File 126602881665.png - (47.45KB , 960x540 , Stars.png )

>>130234
"Hey Stars, can you talk?"

>"Ask me that again and I'm gonna bite you in the dick, Stars!"

Oh right, Stars can talk. He's got this really grating high pitched growly kinda voice and compulsively has to say his own name at the ends of sentences.

Where are you, what is your destination, and what's up with Mr. Crowlto?

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)18:45 No. 130251 ID: 62489a
File 12660291221.png - (59.16KB , 960x540 , Silvermoon Amulet.png )

This circle thing is my SILVERMOON AMULET.

It helps me tap into my ANCIENT SILVERMOON POWERS.

It also points me in the direction of my current goal when I hold it out in front of me, and can remind me of tasks I haven't done yet.

Hold out the amulet and let there be plot.

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)18:50 No. 130259 ID: 62489a
File 126602940315.png - (64.41KB , 960x540 , crowlto.png )

>>130249
Mr. Crowlto is half crow and half pony. I don't know anything about him other than he is an extremely handsome EQUALIZER like myself, and possibly might be competition should we find any LADIES to SCORE with.

My destination? Oh, we're heading to old man Boldsworth's place. He says his house is haunted.

>>130259
Well, let's get going then.

Mneme!CRITTerXzI 2010/02/12(Fri)19:09 No. 130267 ID: a85626
File 126603059834.jpg - (29.25KB , 512x408 , charlesnooooo.jpg )

>> Mr. Crowlto is half crow and half pony.

>>130259
What species is Stars? Where did you meet both Crowlto and Stars?

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)19:45 No. 130310 ID: 62489a
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>>130268
I met Stars and Mr. Crowlto when I was selected by the Weavers to be an EQUALIZER. They're my partners in our little three man teams.

I'm not sure what the selection process is but I assume it's very advanced and exclusive, which means that I'm obviously better than anyone we'll meet in this adventure...

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)19:47 No. 130312 ID: 62489a
File 126603286931.png - (123.96KB , 1920x1080 , gotta get that crowlto.png )

...Which is why I have to be extra careful that damn Mr. Crowlto doesn't steal any LADIES we meet from me, because he's also an EQUALIZER, and thus probably the only person that could possibly be more impressive than I am.

Only that's impossible, because I'm also part dragon and part doobie. There's no way anyone would willingly go after him instead of me. Yeah, that slug bitch must've been trippin' balls...

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)19:50 No. 130318 ID: 62489a
File 126603302516.png - (89.32KB , 960x540 , Gobbo Quest entrance.png )

Stars is some kinda dragon too, I don't know. I guess there's multiple kinds of dragons 'cause he sure as hell doesn't look like my mother.

Anyways, we're almost out of the Sea of White Sand and into the town where Boldsworth lives.

Is that a river? Or like, a giant hole in the ground with space underneath, like in Toejam and Earl?

Also, examine gigantic skyward facing sign and giant skyward facing tits.

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)20:39 No. 130360 ID: 62489a
File 126603596319.png - (136.30KB , 960x540 , Definitely some kinda space thing.png )

>>130327
It appears to be space, sorta like in Toejam and Earl.

The stars under seem to be moving, or more likely, we seem to be moving. These bottomless crevices appear between all the various patches of worlds the WEAVERS tried to save. Currently these bridges are the only way to get from place to place. They're common enough. Why they couldn't just, you know, move them a bit closer so that you didn't need a bridge is beyond me but hell, that's the Weavers, man, you never know what they're thinking.

>>130360
What caused all this? Was it the REAVERS?

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)20:40 No. 130362 ID: 62489a
File 126603602825.png - (138.23KB , 1920x1080 , Rape Ogre.png )

Speaking of which, it seems an OGRE is guarding this bridge.

You can't hand over your precious QUEST ITEMS.

We're going to need to obtain some breasts!

Or just jump over the gap.

Or we could just rough up the ogre.

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)20:54 No. 130377 ID: 62489a
File 126603688591.png - (94.19KB , 960x540 , unravelers.png )

>>130361
Nope, it was the Unravelers, the destroyers of worlds. The linked together worlds have been stabilized for the most part but there's still an impending crisis on the horizon for when they return.

>>130374
I've got a lot of special powers but growing tits ain't one of them. We might be able to solve this DIPLOMATICALLY, or we could try VIOLENCE.

>>130377
Ehhh, let's talk to him a bit.

Let's compromise between the two options.

Use INTIMIDATE.

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)21:14 No. 130385 ID: 62489a
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>>130380
>>130383
Alright... Let's try INTIMIDATE!

"HEY! Ogre! If you don't get out of my way I'm going to torch you and slice off your head!"

>"FFFF! FFFF! FFFF-FFFFF!!"

What? What the hell is that? He just makes this hissing noise at me and points to the sign.

Upon closer inspection this guy seems pretty strong, and it doesn't look like intimidation is working. I'm sure as hell not giving him any of my stuff though.

Kick him into his own pink lightning machine.

Does stars have tits?

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)22:52 No. 130415 ID: 62489a
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>Does Stars have tits?

"Hey Stars, do you have tits?"

Doobanicus 2010/02/12(Fri)22:53 No. 130416 ID: 62489a
File 126604399861.png - (175.09KB , 960x540 , honk.png )

*honk*

>>130416
Oh hey. With her gender revealed this does bring up an interesting possibility. You do have some things in common, after all... like the dragon thing.

I'm saying you should start flirting with her at every opportunity.

>>130438

BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

>>130416
Regale Stars' seductive talents in song.

>>130416
"Good work, soldier!"

Success. Proceed into tittyland.

Doobanicus 2010/03/09(Tue)21:59 No. 144683 ID: 62489a
File 126820078336.png - (89.57KB , 960x540 , Tittyland.png )

We exit the Desert of Despair and head into "tittyland" as some call it. Already I can think more clearly but at the same time I feel the overwhelming urge to wander around and not get anything done.

"So uh... Thanks for the help back there. And nice tits."

"What tits?"

"Nevermind. Nice um... Tail."

"Uh, okay..."

Wait, what was I doing? Something about a kobold.

Use SILVERMOON AMULET to tap into ANCIENT SILVERMOON POWERS

Doobanicus 2010/03/09(Tue)22:30 No. 144713 ID: 62489a
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>>144692
Hey yeah! Jesus this thing is useful. Should I go straight there or go shopping for some ghostbustin' equipment first?

As if a ghost could stand a chance against my equalizer powers and the powers derived from my silvermoon clan, dragon and demon and doobie heritage among others.

...Actually I have no idea. I wish my mutt-like heritage came with some sort of instruction manual.

Then definitely get some ghostbuster equipment, though you probably won't need MUCH.

Search nearby town for ghostbusting equipment and tits.

Doobanicus 2010/03/09(Tue)23:37 No. 144773 ID: 62489a
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>>144729
That's like telling someone to find something yellow in one of those gallon-size cartons of goldfish. This town is swimming in tits. Elves, Ratfolk, Dwarves, Gnolls, you name it.

After some searching I find a shop that seems perfectly suited for my needs.

"Welcome!" the friendly glowing person behind the counter says. "You here to try to catch that ghost?"

Fuck, you lower your defenses for one second and every psychic person in fifty yards is reading your mind.

"Yes, and I can explain about the cheese."

"What?"

Oh good, he didn't read that part of my mind.

"Nothing. What do you have here?"

"Everything a ghost catcher could need!" he proudly proclaims, "We have our special Proton Pack imported right from the Layridin underworld as well as the ol' reliable Poltergeist 2000, and many other related accessories. I'm Igon Sep'Enger, by the way."

>>144773
don't worry, i don't think your mental defences were compromised. that person is a scientist and simply figured out why you are there with their science powers.


anyway. get a proton pack, a spectre detector, and a ghost trap.

...wait, do you have any money?

Maybe you can just borrow the el cheapo model for like, a day, in exchange for clearing that house out.

>>144810
...you mean even cheaper than a vacuum cleaner and a flashlight? Its not like the Poltergeist 2000 is the pinnacle of high tech gadgetry.

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)04:02 No. 162168 ID: f0ceda
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>Do you have cash?
Well yeah, I have cash but I'd much rather use it to upgrade my skills later. Everyone knows the best use of money is buying skills at the level up screen.

I could use cash to buy something, just freaking rob the place since I'm an equalizer and should be getting this shit for free anyways, or just walk out and try to catch this ghost with my bare hands.

Which... with my mixed heritage might just be possible.

>>162168
Tell him that you're an equilizer and should get shit for free. If he still doesn't give it to you then go catch a ghost with your bare hands. And then come back and rob the place.

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)12:19 No. 162256 ID: f0ceda
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He says I can't get it for free.

What's the plan?

Hmm... Seduce him

Just take it. Dare him to stop you.

>>162256
How about we ask to borrow the stuff?

Put down a deposit, and just use the stuff to catch the ghosts?

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)12:35 No. 162265 ID: f0ceda
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>Just seduce him
"So baby, does the carpet match the drapes?"

"What?"

I don't think that worked.

>Just take it

Whoa now, we're supposed to be virtuous warriors, I don't think forcing a supple young lorhke over his own counter is-oh wait you meant the ghost catching stuff. Well I can't just reach over the counter and grab it, I need a PLAN!

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)12:42 No. 162268 ID: f0ceda
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>>162264
He says we can't borrow it either.

He says if we don't have any money we could probably earn some as mercenaries.

>>162268
AH FORGET IT

Let's just go and catch the ghost with our HAM HANDS.

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)13:15 No. 162286 ID: f0ceda
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Okay then.

I leave without getting any equipment. Should we go directly to the old house or dick-dack around first?

>>162286
wait what do you actualy have equipped?

if you have nothign get your butt in there and ask for the price list.

BeakieHelmet 2010/04/10(Sat)13:54 No. 162295 ID: f0ceda
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>>162290
Well, I've got my DEMON KNIFE, the CRIMSON PROPHECY OF OMEN'S BLOOD BLIGHT, and the amulet we used to get here.

We currently have 1,536 Doobloons.

So buy "something" "good" with your dirty "Doobloons" then.
Dunno what, check gamefags or whatever.

>>162295
Maybe the DEMON KNIFE will work against the ghosts.

Can't hurt to try, right?

Spend some money to upgrade yourself with Ghost-Eating Technique. It's a solar charm, but your EQUALIZER template should let you access it at double cost.

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)14:42 No. 162319 ID: f0ceda
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>>162302
Solar template? Stop speaking nonsense and try suggesting something a little closer to reality, good sir.

>>162299
The job is to catch the ghost, not kill it. It's for a professor. Or like, rip it's soul in twain or whatever a demon knife does.

>>162297
>Just buy the shit.
I go inside and purchase the three better objects leaving me with 14 Gnollbucks, which my Doobloons apparently turned into upon entering this world.

Oh well. Hopefully I can get it all back during the mission.

The lorhke's assistant "Skittles" walks in and helps me with the gear. She reeks of sexual hijinks and potential party member.

>>162319
Buy her for 8 Gnollbucks.

Complement her awesome rainbowness. It is awesome.

>>162319
>Skittles
TASTE THE RAINBOW!

>>162329
Taste her rainbow? We hardly know her!

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)15:13 No. 162333 ID: f0ceda
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>Complement her on her awesome rainbowness
"I like your harmony."

"Thanks! I like your face!"

Whoa, really? I might have a shot with this one and not have to resort to Stars when I get lonely anymore.

>Buy her for 8 Gnollbucks
"Hey, wanna join my party for eight Gnollbucks?"

"Aww, that's cute hun, but I make a lot more than that just standing around here."

"Ghost catching equipment is a surprisingly lucrative business." the other lorhke chimes in.

"Well, I can offer more than just money"

If she takes the bait, completely drop the ball and start rambling on about your mystical kung fu powers like a huge tool.

>>162333
SING HER THE SONG OF YOUR PEOPLE!

Use your super speed and agility to pop the buttons on her overalls. No one will ever know.

>>162333
No, I meant BUY her. From the OTHER guy.

"More lucrative than partying up with an equalizer?"

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)15:48 No. 162341 ID: f0ceda
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>>162336
That... That is a REALLY good idea... I mean damn, that is a fantastic idea... But now's not the time. They'd see a black blur and her tits coming out and I'd probably get thrown out without a chance at the full package.

>>162335
You mean "Ohio is for Lovers?" It's the Silvermoon theme song, sure, but I don't think this is the proper time for that either.

Damn good song though.

Doobanicus 2010/04/10(Sat)15:51 No. 162342 ID: f0ceda
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>>162334
"Well I can offer you more than money."

"Really? Like what?"

"Like letting you see my awesome Equalizer Half-Demon powers and going on really cool matrix swordfight adventures."

"Hmm, that does sound nice..."

Oh shit, I've almost got her... What can I say to seal the deal?

 

I love that song.

What about Stars? Cute animal mascot.

Tell the Lohrke you'll braise her in butter with various delicious herbs.

Tell her you can make a woman orgasm using only your voice.

>>162342
Wellllllllll

you could offer a share of the loot and maybe flirt with her a little more.

Doobanicus 2010/04/11(Sun)19:25 No. 163047 ID: f0ceda
File 12710391491.png - (57.76KB , 960x540 , Skittles.png )

"Well, we have a cute animal mascot..."

"Mmm-hmm..."

"You can have a share of the loot, of course..."

"Of course..."

"I'll braise you in butter with various delicious herbs." Wait what? What is that a metaphor for? Or is that a metaphor?

"Kinky..." Err, okay, she liked it anyways. She starts leaning over the bar so I can see RIGHT down her cleavage, and suddenly I am very thankful that I am wearing a cloak over my pants right now.

I start to sweat as I say the last thing that comes to mind. "I can uh, I can make a woman orgasm using just my voice."

She leans in close and whispers "Sold."

>>163047
>"I can uh, I can make a woman orgasm using just my voice."

Go someplace private and prove this to her.

But first you must hunt the ghosts!

Or second. Your choice really.

>>163047
NOW use your super speed to undo her overalls.

I think maybe we'll hunt the ghosts before making with the hanky-panky.

Yes, then you can have adrenaline-fueled victory sex!

Doobanicus 2010/04/11(Sun)19:50 No. 163070 ID: f0ceda
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>Should I stay or should I go now?

I don't know you guys... This place is notorious for people who get sidetracked mysteriously disappearing but those tits I just want to unclasp that pair of overalls so hard! Hnnnnnnnnngh...

I've got a really bad feeling about getting sidetracked and, ack, uh, dicking around but I want to hit that SO BAD...

D-Dammit... Going after the ghost is probably the smarter choice here but... D-Damn...

>>163070
Do it, faggot! or do you like dick better?

ADRENALINE. FUELED. VICTORYSEX. aka "The Muschio". Don't mess up how awesome it'll be later now.

>>163070
Well if we get sidetracked then we'll find out why people disappear right?

>>163070
Just remember to keep her out of the sun.

Go! It's no big mystery. The characters don't disappear forever.

Go impress her with your ghost handling.

Unclasp those overalls.

Take her somewhere out of sight first if you must. Pussy.

>>163070
DO HER NOW

Keep it in your pants for now.
You already spent money on the ghost hunting shit, no need to potentially let that go to waste.

Doobanicus 2010/04/11(Sun)20:43 No. 163127 ID: f0ceda
File 127104378426.png - (72.84KB , 960x540 , titsun.png )

Okay.... Okay... I tell her I'll pick her up after I catch this ghost. By then it should be night and the tit-sun won't be out anymore and it'll be safe for her to be outside.

"YOU FUCKING BLEW IT!" a tiny voice says from within my pants.

Oh shit.

Doobanicus 2010/04/11(Sun)20:44 No. 163132 ID: f0ceda
File 127104388936.png - (70.90KB , 960x540 , Penis.png )

"SHE WAS RIGHT THERE! You saw the size of those tits! I could smell her vagina! She was fucking creaming for you man! Now what am I supposed to do!? You are such a MORON! I want to get off, dammit!"

I'm really lucky there's nobody around to see this.

>>163127
"Shut up, penis. I'll jack off or something later. Is there no pleasing you?

Shit."

What's Crowlto up to? Haven't seen him in a while. He had better not be stealing the fucking ladies from you.

>>163127
Go buy some khakis at that GAP

ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO HIT YOUR OWN DICK WITH A HAMMER?

Doobanicus 2010/04/11(Sun)21:00 No. 163149 ID: f0ceda
File 127104482760.png - (70.64KB , 960x540 , Penis.png )

"Shut up, penis. I'll jack off or something later. Is there no pleasing you? Shit."

"BY 'LATER' YOU BETTER MEAN RIGHT NOW, NIGGA, YOU OWE ME SO HARD AFTER DENYING ME THAT FUCKING PUSSY."

Crowlto and Stars have wandered off somewhere. I'd... Better take care of this first. Why don't you guys bother someone else for a while?

[Your choices are CROWLTO or STARS]

Stars

Stars. Because.

>>163149
Crowlto. We have to make sure he's all mysterious and have a dark past and shit.

>>163149
S.T.A.R.S.

>>163149
Stars

Stars 2010/04/24(Sat)00:21 No. 169378 ID: f0ceda
File 127209370871.png - (105.10KB , 960x540 , stars one.png )

HOKAY I *hic* might be a liiiiittle intoxicated hehe... and uh... not gonna lie but I'm prolly gonna pee on a building or something soon... Hoo boy...

Kinda... can't really walk straight here. That mansion we were supposed to go to is behind me and Strifecloud is... fuck if I know... dicking around or sh-something...

Everyone here has fucking massive tits and they're gonna have their... dicks up their asses or something I dunno I lost my train of thought there... Uh...

Yeah... I should uh... do... something... we could probably just show up at the mansion tomorrow or I could just show up drunk I really don't care...

>>169378
I see a bathhouse. Go there.

Find someone and have drunksex with them. It'll keep you out of trouble until you're no longer inebriated.

Stars 2010/04/24(Sat)00:39 No. 169388 ID: f0ceda
File 127209478838.png - (85.93KB , 960x540 , stars one.png )

ooooooookay I wander around for a while and eventually I FIND SOMEONE FOR DRUNKSEX they seem nice

>>169388
...too nice. This guy wants to MARRY you. RUN AWAY FROM THE COMMITMENT!

YES HAVE SEX WITH HIM

Stars 2010/04/24(Sat)01:06 No. 169414 ID: f0ceda
File 127209638063.png - (99.60KB , 960x540 , stars one.png )

yeaaaaaah nooooo fuck marriage free sex whooooooo where should I go what should I do?

>>169414
Flirt with the gobbo standing right there.

bang stars.

You could take that goblin or head to a bar, I'm sure there'll be horny guys there.

>>169414
Ask him if he has seen Crowlto. It's time you healed his scarred soul through the power of sexual healing.

>>169414
Pin and molest the goblin. Gobbos don't consider it good sex unless one side isn't consensual.

Attempt to molest the goblin, but puke on him instead. Stagger away in abject embarassment, then forget everything you just did a few minutes ago.

Stars 2012/04/01(Sun)16:41 No. 397878 ID: c6beb3
File 133332366017.png - (148.28KB , 1455x810 , cloaca.png )

>>169417
>>169427
>>169522
>>169633
>Fuck/Molest the gobbo

Oh I pin him to the ground alright, pin him and give him the best view in the house, heheheh...

>"Oh, uh, I see you have one of those uh, lizard vaginas, um, a cloaca?"

"Oh, that's not a cloaca..."

Stars 2012/04/01(Sun)16:41 No. 397879 ID: c6beb3
File 133332369273.png - (165.48KB , 1455x810 , eyeball.png )

"It's an eyeball."

>"W-What... I-"

"Lick it. Lick my eye."

Doobanicus 2012/04/01(Sun)16:42 No. 397880 ID: c6beb3
File 133332373020.png - (175.84KB , 1455x810 , smirk.png )

Ahh! I feel a lot better! Though that took longer than I thought.

Doobanicus 2012/04/01(Sun)16:42 No. 397881 ID: c6beb3
File 133332375825.png - (175.84KB , 1455x810 , what was I doing.png )

Wait, what was I doing? Something about a haunted house?

flee in terror from the eye vagina

>>397881
Yep. Get to it. Kill that ghost.

Doobanicus 2012/04/01(Sun)17:50 No. 397935 ID: c6beb3
File 133332780621.png - (242.13KB , 1440x810 , come quickly.png )

Okay, uh, I find Stars but she looks like she's busy so I just go to the mansion myself.

Inside there's a very exasperated cutebold, you know, the stupid dog kind of kobold instead of the cool lizard kind, who wants to know if I'm one of the EQUALIZERS, and I say yes. Because I am and that's a thing that is true.

He tells me that there is a GHOST in his house and it has been haunting him for months, and that he just can't spend another night in this house until it's gone as it's been getting worse and worse. He says there's been strange disturbances in the FOYER, where we are now, THE KITCHEN, the STUDY, and just outside the BEDROOM late in the night. He tells me that he'll see me in the morning and he's going to stay at the inn.

...Hmm, well now, I do have a job to do but that ALSO means I'll have a decently party-sized mansion at my disposal for the night...

I dunno invite skittles over.

GHOST PARTY

Definitely party time. You can kill the ghost during the party, it'll be like a show!

invite all of your friends and every sexy girl you have ever seen

all get drinks lots of drinks

>>397935
It's Party TIME!!! Invite over everyone you know, and tell them to invite everyone they know. Oh, and bring some booze.

Doobanicus 2012/08/29(Wed)19:22 No. 449365 ID: 87d89c
File 134629333947.png - (202.13KB , 1440x810 , thinking of skittles.png )

>>397946
>>398127
>>397941
>>397943
I don't think I can invite EVERYONE I know, I'm friends with pretty much everyone on every form of social media forever, I get that from my father's side. Nah, I should probably invite a couple people I actually know and then just whoever I can find on the street. Who should I try to invite though? I mean, when I say I know everyone, I mean everyone.

>>397939
Oh man skittles, it's easily been five minutes since I last thought of her, she is a cutie isn't she? Maybe, you know, I could have sex with her during the party if you know what I mean. Like, sneaking off somewhere and doing it fancy style in a fancy room with the fancy drapes and the fancy sheets.

Wait, no, I'd have to take the fancy sheets off first. That shit's expensive, don't want to ruin them. Maybe I could find a way to purify them with demon magic. Wait no, that sounds like a horrible idea. What was I doing again? Right, throwing a party.

Okay, I need names, people, names.

Ultramegadance Supermaster
Delicia Boobicia
Terrence Briggam
Donnie Darko
Copyright D. Steal
Your evil twin
Your evil twin's evil twin